Keep Calm and Know that God Loves You Part 3: Love is not rude and does not seek its own (1 Corinthians 13:5)

We are now going to tackle love not being rude and selfish. Below are definitions of the two concepts that we will explore (Merriam-Webster Dictionary):

Rude: Not having or showing concern or respect for the rights and feelings of other people: not polite
Selfish: having or showing concern only for yourself and not for the needs or feeling of other people

These two attributes look quite similar don't they. In both definitions, I would like to highlight the concept of not caring for others. In order to demonstrate true love, you must be willing at times to take a back seat to the needs, rights and concerns of others. Jesus' ministry clearly demonstrates this concept. I think specifically of Jesus praying in the Garden of Gethsemane; and how He said, "not my will but Your will be done" (Luke 22:42). Jesus demonstrated that love is sacrifice. It's putting someone else or something else before you. Jesus demonstrated the love of God, but allowing God to love and His way of loving was to sacrifice His Son. In this prayer, God also demonstrates His love, He too had to sacrifice, for our salvation, for our freedom; for our lives.

Being human, it is hard for us not to consider ourselves first. Sometimes we look at God as if He is our "Fun Snatcher" or "Captain Kill Joy" because we don't necessarily get our way, or that He forces us to do things His way. The truth is God sees the beginning from the end. If He was rude and selfish He would let you do whatever you wanted to because He would care less about what is happening or what would happen to you. Think about it this way, if I know that there is a mugger on the other side of the street, and I knew you were going to get mugged if you went down that street, would it not be rude of me not to warn you? Would it be selfish of me to think of my safety and run away so I don't have to get hurt or inconvenienced. Similarly, this is how we should recognize the love of God. He is always looking out for out best interest, whether we see it or not. Jesus warns us about impending death and even died in our place so that we don't have to face it if we choose His will and way.

Love cares and sacrifices. It thinks not only of itself but looks at the larger picture and chooses to humble itself even unto death. It is often said that one of the primary reasons if not the primary reason for divorce is selfishness. Love can't thrive where there is rudeness or selfishness. This applies to all aspects of our lives. Similarly, take our impending marriage to Christ, can we truly be united if there is selfishness? If we demand our way with Christ when clearly He knows better? If this root isn't plucked out you will never truly know the love of God or know that God loves you because a marriage and relationship can not thrive when selfishness is involved. The two will never agree. If you truly want to feel God's love and know it, ask for His way, for His is ultimately love, just read the Word of God and He will reveal to you his way. I encourage you to read Romans 12. This portion of scripture talks about sacrifice and the Will of God (Romans 12:2).

Do You Really Know that God Loves You? Part 1: Patient and Kind

Did you know that God loves you? I know this might seem like a stupid question but do you really know with all your heart that God loves you. I was asked this question about 2 years ago and it really shocked me to my core. For the first time I was confused about whether or not God loved me. On a cerebral level I understood that God loved me. I knew the precious sacrifice he made by sending His only Son to die, was a sacrifice of love. But beyond that, for some reason my heart had a hard time translating that notion. I think not fulling understanding that God loved me came from my misunderstanding of Love.

To understand what love really means is to understand God for God is Love and He is perfect in all His ways. Often times we tend to lean unto out own understanding. Proverbs 6: 5 - 6 says

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart,

And lean not on your own understanding;

6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,

And He shall direct[a] your paths.

When we take the world's concept of love and try to project that on God's Word, it fails miserably. We begin to pigeon hole God in our definition of love.

Two years ago, I was dealing with issues of God's love for me. There were moments when I thought, God just doesn't love me. I am not sure how the enemy planted that seed in my mind and heart but he did. God's love is divine and to understand it we must go to His word. I am sure most of you know the following verse but let's really look at it.

1Corinthians 13

1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I  am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned,[a] but have not love, it profits me nothing.

4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.

11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.

13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Starting at verse 4: Love is long suffering (patient) and kind. I, by nature, am an impatient person. It is by the grace of God that I can practice patience. I, like most people, want what I want, when I want it and how I want it. This is in direct contradiction to what the Word says. Love/God is patient. That means, while I was dead in my sin, He patiently waited for me to realize the error of my ways. He, being my creator, waited patiently as I played the harlot, trying to run after the desires of my wicked heart.  Any normal person would have walked away. I know so many couples who have faced infidelity in their marriage and decided to walk away, but God says, love is patient. It will wait for you to choose it and reciprocate that love. It is kind. Kind according to Marriam Webster's dictionary is defined as;  having or showing a gentle nature and a desire to help others : wanting and liking to do good things and to bring happiness to others. Love desires to help and to do good things. There is none good but God. He is the author of all things good. I can't tell you how many times I have asked God for something that in my understanding was good and He did not give me what I desired. In those moments of God denying my request I often attributed it to the fact that He just didn't't love me. After all, if I asked my earthly father for something and it was within his means to obtain it for me, he would do it with no questions asked. The difference between God and my earthly father is that God sees the results of my requests. He alone knows what is good for me. So although my earthly father means well, he could do me harm if he does not consult the Lord before honoring my request. We don't always understand what God is doing, but if we don't understand, let us pray that the lie that He doesn't love us, does not take root in our lives. If we begin to believe this lie, we render God a liar and He cannot lie. God wants good things to happen to you, He wants you to be happy, but the only person that can define that is God. We can't apply our limited understanding to what happiness looks like. For us, happiness is subjective but to God happiness is absolute and defined by God. To understand true happiness, you will need to seek God. You will need to understand why scripture says 2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. (James 1:2-4).

Have any of you struggled with understanding the love of God, specifically as it applies to your relationship with Him? How did you overcome?

 Over the next couple of weeks I would like to explore the attributes of love, which in reality are the attributes of God.