Keep Calm and Know that God Loves You Part 3: Love is not rude and does not seek its own (1 Corinthians 13:5)

We are now going to tackle love not being rude and selfish. Below are definitions of the two concepts that we will explore (Merriam-Webster Dictionary):

Rude: Not having or showing concern or respect for the rights and feelings of other people: not polite
Selfish: having or showing concern only for yourself and not for the needs or feeling of other people

These two attributes look quite similar don't they. In both definitions, I would like to highlight the concept of not caring for others. In order to demonstrate true love, you must be willing at times to take a back seat to the needs, rights and concerns of others. Jesus' ministry clearly demonstrates this concept. I think specifically of Jesus praying in the Garden of Gethsemane; and how He said, "not my will but Your will be done" (Luke 22:42). Jesus demonstrated that love is sacrifice. It's putting someone else or something else before you. Jesus demonstrated the love of God, but allowing God to love and His way of loving was to sacrifice His Son. In this prayer, God also demonstrates His love, He too had to sacrifice, for our salvation, for our freedom; for our lives.

Being human, it is hard for us not to consider ourselves first. Sometimes we look at God as if He is our "Fun Snatcher" or "Captain Kill Joy" because we don't necessarily get our way, or that He forces us to do things His way. The truth is God sees the beginning from the end. If He was rude and selfish He would let you do whatever you wanted to because He would care less about what is happening or what would happen to you. Think about it this way, if I know that there is a mugger on the other side of the street, and I knew you were going to get mugged if you went down that street, would it not be rude of me not to warn you? Would it be selfish of me to think of my safety and run away so I don't have to get hurt or inconvenienced. Similarly, this is how we should recognize the love of God. He is always looking out for out best interest, whether we see it or not. Jesus warns us about impending death and even died in our place so that we don't have to face it if we choose His will and way.

Love cares and sacrifices. It thinks not only of itself but looks at the larger picture and chooses to humble itself even unto death. It is often said that one of the primary reasons if not the primary reason for divorce is selfishness. Love can't thrive where there is rudeness or selfishness. This applies to all aspects of our lives. Similarly, take our impending marriage to Christ, can we truly be united if there is selfishness? If we demand our way with Christ when clearly He knows better? If this root isn't plucked out you will never truly know the love of God or know that God loves you because a marriage and relationship can not thrive when selfishness is involved. The two will never agree. If you truly want to feel God's love and know it, ask for His way, for His is ultimately love, just read the Word of God and He will reveal to you his way. I encourage you to read Romans 12. This portion of scripture talks about sacrifice and the Will of God (Romans 12:2).

Missions: Ethiopia Part 2: Healing Hands of Joy and Stormrider: Akeza

After 2 days in Addis we departed for Mekelle, which is less then an hour flight. It is a smaller city then Addis Ababa. I would compare it to Philadelphia being Addis and Pittsburgh being Mekelle. Mekelle was less crowded and had more of a slower pace then Addis. It is also a college town with the Mekelle Theological College and Mekelle Institute of Technology surrounding the area. 

Coffee Ceremony

After settling down at the hotel, we headed to the center. When we arrived at HHOJ the women gave us a wonderful warm greeting! They had beautiful smiles on their faces,cheering, waving incense and tossing popcorn and rose petals in the air.  All eleven ladies greeted us with kisses and we took pictures before entering in the center. The women performed a traditional coffee ceremony as we all sat in a huge circle introducing ourselves. The women were very open and inviting. All of them explained their situation, what lead them to HHOJ and what they were hoping to gain/accomplished through the program. We, in turn, told them what brought us to Ethiopia and why we wanted to come to the center. After the introductions, we had lunch with the ladies and received a tour of the grounds, kitchen, classroom and living quarters from Allison. 

Preparing lunch

One of the customs in Ethiopia is feet washing. This normally occurs when a visitor comes to your home and you wash their feet as a sign of hospitality. Well our team wanted to do that for the ladies and in addition treat them to manis and pedis. The women at first had reservations because they felt that it was wrong for us, the visitors, to wash their feet. But during their Bible study class they were ministered to about Jesus washing the feet of his disciples in John 13:1-17. They learned that Jesus wanted to show His followers what it meant to serve and give themselves to others. Jesus told Peter, who refused the washing of his feet, that he has no part of Him if he refuses. Being able to serve and being served is a blessing and our Father is pleased and glorified when we do that for each other. This made the women more comfortable and ready to receive their feet washing. It was a pleasure and joy to see that the women were enjoying the feet washing and spa treatment. One of the lady's daughter joined in and I was able to paint her nails for her. Each woman received her own nail spa kit with lotion, nail polish and file. What a blessing it was to leave the center that day knowing that the ladies felt special and loved.

Feet washing

Showing off her nails

The second day at the center was one of the best days for me because it was our one on one time with the ladies. I had the privilege of having my time with Azeka. She is 40, divorced twice and has 4 children. During her first pregnancy, Akeza had prolonged labor with her son and developed fistula because of it. She was able to receive surgery and has since been cured. 10 years after the surgery she remarried and had 3 more children. I questioned Akeza why would she remarry and have more children after the traumatic experience with her first marriage and pregnancy? Akeza explained to me earlier in our conversation that she divorced her first husband because he was cheating on her with other women in the village. She responded to me so plainly and with confidence, "Because I had the desire to have more children." Her response gripped my heart in the most intense way. Most of these women are married off at a very early age, as early as 8 years old, abused and outcast by their communities because they have fistula. You would think there would be bitterness, unforgiveness, wrath and fear that would overcome them.

Akeza

Akeza, as a woman, wanted to fulfill that desire of being a wife and a mother. Unfortunately, her second husband was abusive and the marriage dissolved but she preservered. She has a strength and a willingness to succeed in life. She told me her strength comes from God. She knows that fistula does not define her life and that being at the center has strengthen her faith. She has developed relationships with the other women; they have sown into each other lives and have been able to encourage one another through this experience.

Towards the end of our conversation I told Akeza that she reminded me of the young girl (Jarius' daughter) Jesus brought back to life in Mark 5:35-43. Everyone that was at Jarius' home thought that this was the end. Before Jesus and his disciples arrived a servant from Jarius' house told him not to bother Jesus because his daughter was dead. But Jesus knowing what was going to happen went to the house and told everyone there that the girl was sleeping. The mourners at the house laughed at Him. Jesus had everyone removed from the room besides the girl's parents and 3 of His disciples. Jesus proceeded to take the young girl's hand and said to her "Talitha cumi; which is, being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise (verse 41)." The little girl got up and Jesus told them to get her something to eat. Jesus who is sovereign knows the beginning and the end of your life. Others might feel like they have the right to speak over your life because of the circumstances that you are in but God has the final say.

Akeza was in agreement and added that God is in control. She is so thankful that He has brought her out of the darkest places in her life and have lead her to a place of peace and trusting in him. Akeza blessed me tremendously with her beautiful spirit, laugh, openness and strength. She told me that she would be praying for me to get married and that I would have lots of children! What I found to be very interesting was that our interpreter and  I had similar stories. All three of us had a connection even though we come from different backgrounds, cultures and upbringings. I truly understood in that moment that allowing yourself to be open can really minister not only to others but to yourself.

I greatly enjoyed my time talking to Akeza and my team members also felt the same way about their one on one time. It was truly an honor and a privilege to get to know my friend Akeza. I will never forget her and our conversation. She has motivated me to continue to preservere no matter what obstacles come into my life. God is in control and has the final word.

From left to right: Senait (who is apart of the HHOJ staff), me, Akeza, one of the ladies in the program and our interpreter Flash

Next week will be the third and final post about my trip!

To learn more about the trip please visit the team's blog at  http://www.tscnyc.org/i61teams/category/africa/ethiopia-africa/  and to learn more about Healing Hands of Joy please visit http://www.healinghandsofjoy.com

Stay Calm Jesus Loves You: Part 2 - Envy and Boasting!

In continuing with my previous post, the scripture brings us to two more attributes of love:

1 Corinthians 13:4

Love does not envy; love does not parade itself (boast)

Envy: a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else's possessions, qualities, or luck.

The word in this definition that stands out to me the most is discontented. When we are discontent with what God has given us or entrusted to us, we begin to look at others that have what we want and deduce that the reason they have it is because clearly God loves them and not us. This is incredibly false! We need to stop comparing ourselves, talents, possessions, status etc to what others have. If we would simply accept the fact that God loves us, then we would look at the things that we have and glorify in the fact that it was given to us. We bring such pain and hurt into our lives with envy. Once envy comes in, it twists are vision to no longer see that the root problem is that we are discontent. Instead it masks itself as a lie against the nature of God, that says, He does not love me. He won't give me the desires of my heart. He won't answer my prayers. Once that root comes into our lives we become offended by our Lord. Envy kills the soul, it robs you of life. It makes you focus on everything that is wrong rather on what is right. It causes you to actually hate when good things happen to and for others. When it gets to that point you are void of any true love of God. God is good! If you don't like when good things happen, then you are in direct opposition to God and His work. If you are content with what you have been given you will know that God loves you. Instead of looking at what you have been given negatively look at the positives, there is no one God saw more fit to give what was given to you but you. You are unique in inheriting whatever it is that He gave you. Try to see what you have been given through Gods eyes and if you can't see it ask Him for the vision to see. Love is content, it does not want what others have. Love is full and complete, it wants for nothing. Psalms 23:1 says, "The Lord is my Shepard, I shall not want". David can claim this because he has all he needs. He isn't looking for more, God has given him his needs and he wants for nothing. Now please don't misunderstand me, complacency and contentment are two different things. But to being content means to rest in the knowledge that you do indeed have all the tools you need. When God shows you how to use these tools you can enter into the season of your life.

Boast: talk with excessive pride and self-satisfaction about one's achievements, possessions, or abilities.

Love does not parade itself. Love is humble, it makes no trumpet sounds or overexposes itself. One characteristic of humble people is a sense of self-worth that can't be defined by others nor does it depend on the applause of others. Self-assured people know who they are. They understand their limitations and that in which they excel. There is no longing to be approved or lifted up. Love is the same way, Love comes quietly. It is not flashy. Love has an identity. Many people who seek attention or parade themselves have no identity. They do not fully know who they are and therefore need the approval of others in order to feel complete. Real love does not need to parade itself, it is known by its characteristics. When you look at love, you know it, you feel it, there is a distinct witness that it is indeed love. Sometimes, it is in the most quiet of ways God shows that He loves you. There is no production or fanfare. When love is boastful it is less intimate and God desires an intimate relationship with all of us. When Jesus healed various people in the Bible, more often than not, He told them not to say anything or share what He did for them in a public manor. This is love. In Matthew 6:3 Jesus says "But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth". Love is not about patting itself on the back, it is so selfless as to not even give credit to itself even after demonstrating one of its attributes. When we boast, we are saying that the approval of God is not enough. That we somehow need for man to lift us up. If you truly know that God loves you, then you understand that He approves of you. He doesn't need to put you on a pedestal, send a dove and proclaim that you are a good child. Love simply does what is necessary even without recognition. Think about Jesus. He did the most amazing, game changing, life altering work on this earth, the very personification of love and everyday you don't hear trumpets from heaven and Jesus giving a speech for all that He has done. No, true love will sit quietly and unrecognized until our eyes can accurately identify it.

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I beseech you, if you are feeling incomplete and envious, please search the scriptures for the truth of God's love. These two issues can lead us down paths that end in destruction.  Remember, scripture says, "Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall" (Proverbs 16:18) and "A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones." (Proverbs 14:30). Know that you are loved.

Missions: Ethiopia Part 1: Team, Country and People

I left last month for my missions trip to Ethiopia. This was my third missions trip with Times Square Church and it was such a blessing. I was with a team of  seven extraordinary, beautiful, hilarious, intelligent, kind, normal and God loving women. I knew only one of the ladies which was the team leader, Tobi. But of course by the end of the trip I got to know and adored Miss Ruth, Miss Hazel, Babita aka "Bob", Homa and Jane. I felt completely comfortable with these ladies in our last meeting a week before we left for the trip. We were already exposing our humor and personalities. We had wonderful, engaging conversations and the main topic was men and marriage. Hey, no judging, we are 7 single women what else would we talk about!

The Team

Our mission was to volunteer at Healing Hands of Joy founded by Allison Shigo, who was also our host. The center was developed to establish safe motherhood support networks to eradicate fistula. HHOJ also provides assistance to women that developed fistula to rejoin their communities as safe motherhood ambassadors and provide a life for themselves. I will elaborate more on what we did at HHOJ next week, but please visit the center's site at healinghandsofjoy.com to learn more.

Addis Ababa

After our 12 hour flight to Dubai we boarded our plane to fly into to Addis Ababa, which took 4 hours. The country is beautiful to say the least. The mountainous landscape took my breath away!  The city reminded me of Monrovia, Liberia expect for the mountains. Most of the people, if not all, are extremely attractive. Most of the locals we encountered had a kind disposition and friendly. The country's religion is Christian Orthodox. We saw many priest and parishioners walking to mass.

Orthodox Church 

In Addis most of the people wear western modern day apparel (jeans, t-shirts, high heels, sneakers and business causal wear). We saw sprinkles of traditional garments, more so in Mekelle.  Some of the women had their heads covered with a shawl or scarf and men wear colorful tams, beanies or tuckers.
Majority of the men have low hair cuts and the women wear their hair in a variety of ways; natural, textured, long, short, braided ( I love and plan on executing myself), wig or weaves. We went to a restaurant called 2000 Habesha that had traditional Ethiopian cuisine, a band and cultural dancers.
We then went to Mekelle, where the center, Healing Hands of Joy, is located.  
Below are more pictures and video of the dancers from the trip. Next week's post will go more in depth about what the Lord did through our team and my one on one time with Akeza, one of the woman at the center.

2000 Habesha 

Meal at 2000 Habesha 

Do You Really Know that God Loves You? Part 1: Patient and Kind

Did you know that God loves you? I know this might seem like a stupid question but do you really know with all your heart that God loves you. I was asked this question about 2 years ago and it really shocked me to my core. For the first time I was confused about whether or not God loved me. On a cerebral level I understood that God loved me. I knew the precious sacrifice he made by sending His only Son to die, was a sacrifice of love. But beyond that, for some reason my heart had a hard time translating that notion. I think not fulling understanding that God loved me came from my misunderstanding of Love.

To understand what love really means is to understand God for God is Love and He is perfect in all His ways. Often times we tend to lean unto out own understanding. Proverbs 6: 5 - 6 says

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart,

And lean not on your own understanding;

6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,

And He shall direct[a] your paths.

When we take the world's concept of love and try to project that on God's Word, it fails miserably. We begin to pigeon hole God in our definition of love.

Two years ago, I was dealing with issues of God's love for me. There were moments when I thought, God just doesn't love me. I am not sure how the enemy planted that seed in my mind and heart but he did. God's love is divine and to understand it we must go to His word. I am sure most of you know the following verse but let's really look at it.

1Corinthians 13

1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I  am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned,[a] but have not love, it profits me nothing.

4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.

11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.

13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Starting at verse 4: Love is long suffering (patient) and kind. I, by nature, am an impatient person. It is by the grace of God that I can practice patience. I, like most people, want what I want, when I want it and how I want it. This is in direct contradiction to what the Word says. Love/God is patient. That means, while I was dead in my sin, He patiently waited for me to realize the error of my ways. He, being my creator, waited patiently as I played the harlot, trying to run after the desires of my wicked heart.  Any normal person would have walked away. I know so many couples who have faced infidelity in their marriage and decided to walk away, but God says, love is patient. It will wait for you to choose it and reciprocate that love. It is kind. Kind according to Marriam Webster's dictionary is defined as;  having or showing a gentle nature and a desire to help others : wanting and liking to do good things and to bring happiness to others. Love desires to help and to do good things. There is none good but God. He is the author of all things good. I can't tell you how many times I have asked God for something that in my understanding was good and He did not give me what I desired. In those moments of God denying my request I often attributed it to the fact that He just didn't't love me. After all, if I asked my earthly father for something and it was within his means to obtain it for me, he would do it with no questions asked. The difference between God and my earthly father is that God sees the results of my requests. He alone knows what is good for me. So although my earthly father means well, he could do me harm if he does not consult the Lord before honoring my request. We don't always understand what God is doing, but if we don't understand, let us pray that the lie that He doesn't love us, does not take root in our lives. If we begin to believe this lie, we render God a liar and He cannot lie. God wants good things to happen to you, He wants you to be happy, but the only person that can define that is God. We can't apply our limited understanding to what happiness looks like. For us, happiness is subjective but to God happiness is absolute and defined by God. To understand true happiness, you will need to seek God. You will need to understand why scripture says 2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. (James 1:2-4).

Have any of you struggled with understanding the love of God, specifically as it applies to your relationship with Him? How did you overcome?

 Over the next couple of weeks I would like to explore the attributes of love, which in reality are the attributes of God.